What Is Disordered Eating?

People with disordered eating have developed the habit of relying on food to cope with life situations. They use food as a means to displace or ’stuff down’ uncomfortable feelings or thoughts. They may use food to avoid some part of life by grazing or eating all day. This is called compulsive overeating. Some may binge, eating large amounts of food in a short time. Binge eating usually starts in response to a diet. Others may restrict their food intake with a rigid diet until they become so malnourished that they cannot think clearly or function physically and until their long-term health, or even their life itself, is endangered. This is anorexia. Still others may overeat, and then get rid of the food. This is bulimia.

Disordered eating is not just about food. The primary thing that keeps a person trapped in the illness is FEAR: fear of getting fat, fear of rejection, fear of being found out, fear of abandonment, fear of being controlled, or fear of feeling. By concentrating on the illness, weight, diet, or body image, one can avoid the fear and numb the feelings.

A mental obsession with food, weight, diet, or body image has profound effects on our self-esteem, relationships, finances, daily activities and quality of life. People often become depressed or anxious because of their eating patterns.

The Cycle

At the beginning of our eating disorder, we successfully managed to block out troubling feelings by occupying our mind with thoughts of food or thinness. The problem with this is that, as our feelings get stuffed down over and over again, the internal pressure builds. We don’t exercise other methods of coping, and soon food becomes our only coping mechanism. We become hard-wired to turn to our disorder whenever a feeling comes up.

After a while, we have no room for any more feelings. We may find ourselves reacting to everything around us by turning to food. We don’t acknowledge our pain, so we don’t do anything to alleviate our growing desperation. We think food is the problem, when in fact, we have substituted food for a deeper problem — and  it’s just not working anymore. We find ourselves trapped in a cycle with no way to break free.

Breaking the Cycle

In recovery it is important to realize that we have done the best we could up to this point. Negative self-criticism about previous actions only perpetuates the cycle. The solution is to recognize that there is a relationship between our emotions and our eating behaviors. Destructive eating behaviors are just a symptom of the problem, not its root cause.

To get down to the root cause, we need to identify why we are turning to food or to an obsessive restriction of food. Then we can take action to deal with this underlying cause. You can break the cycle at any point — and the cycle does break. All you need to start recovering is the willingness to change, to open your mind to a different approach.

Our thoughts are the first link to our actions. If we want to reach out our hand, our mind has to tell our arm to move. So we must identify the thoughts that trigger the unwanted act of eating when we are not physically hungry or denying ourselves food when we are hungry. Armed with this knowledge, we can find suitable substitutes. Starting with small steps, through the use of repetition, we can form new habits.

So, GIVE YOURSELF A BREAK! You have spent too much energy negatively criticizing yourself in the past. Why do you fail to acknowledge the many good things you accomplish in a day? It is time to start congratulating yourself for things well done!

At first, you may want to start out simple. Tell yourself , “Hey, nice job of brushing those teeth!” or “Wow, good driving!” on the way to work. Take moments throughout the day to congratulate yourself for things you do well.

In time, these repetitive affirmations will begin a new cycle of behavior. This practice of nurturing or ‘reparenting’ yourself will help you become more attuned to your internal dialog and avoid those negative influences. You can work with yourself instead of against yourself. The body was designed to work in conjunction with your appetite, by eating when you are hungry and stopping when you are full. You can get back in touch with this innate ability.

Focus on the intention to live your life with confidence and self-acceptance. Find things to appreciate and enjoy. Positive self-talk can break the cycle and free you from the need to use food as a substitute for living a full life.